Life's a Beach (Club)

Packing my bag takes about 5 minutes : as I know I'm moving on every few days I don't bother to unpack, preferring to locate what I want by rummaging about furiously in my holdall as I go along. Head slightly cloudy from the blow-out at the W, the bit that takes the longest is locating all my valuables from their various dusty hiding places around the room, where I'd stashed them days before like a squirrel burying nuts.
There's just time for a final set breakfast of scrambled eggs and hot dogs on toast before my taxi arrives to take me to my next hotel in Chaweng, to the east of Samui and the most popular area of the island. The hotel dog who sits by my ankles does particularly well out of me that day as the cold hot dog is even less appetising than normal. He throws his head back and swallows it whole with a cheesy grin. The staff are constantly shooing him off the furniture, then as soon as their backs are turned he does that thing that dogs do where they rub themselves on their backs all over the sofas, ensuring maximum hair-shed and dog-odour transfer. Makes me chuckle every time as he looks like he's laughing as he does it.
I arrive and check into my next hotel, pre-booked a day before via my Expedia app, costing £15 a night for a 4-star rating. I'm thrilled to discover my room has a safe and hot water and everything - such luxury! I drop my bags and head up to the infinity pool on the roof for a quick dip, before heading out to check out my new surroundings. Walking along the brochure-perfect beach, my ears prick up as I hear the bass of some sexy house beats, and I quickly discern that the tunes are coming from the KC Beach Club. Like the Pied Piper of Hamlyn, the DJ calls me to him with his audio porn and I'm powerless to resist - my 'exploring the area' is over 5 minutes in and before I know it I'm buying overpriced vodkas and gyrating to the beat with the 'Beautiful People.' As the day wears on the volume and pace picks up - dancing girls are performing double-jointed routines in sequins and chiffon, their outfits billowing in the gentle breeze. This place is a piece of me - I love the vocal house and glamour of the 5 star resort and the sweet scent of success emanating from every pore of the clientele. I chat to a middle-aged Isreali guy who lives here and runs a few restaurants - we arrange to meet later so he can take me to the Muay Thai boxing and the Green Mango club. I'm slightly apprehensive as I don't want him to make any assumptions - I would rather stick pins in my eyes than kiss this guy so end up texting to cancel later as I'm not sure I could trust him. Something tells me I'll be spending most of my time (and money) in Chaweng at the KC Beach Club...